Self Scrutiny

Today I read a blog that I was introduced to by my good friend M and today's post got me thinking about what drives us to the decisions we make. The post was a follow up to a previous post where the author asked:

“let's say you're given the opportunity to donate some money to a desperate family who would use it to feed their children, but were only able to do so if you donated the same amount of money to someone you knew would use it to buy crack. Would you do it?”

My immediate thought was that I would never support drug use and instead would give food, thinking this was a slightly clever way to solve the problem as opposed to following her rules. I read some of the comments to this post (of course, my answer was there…) and people had a variety of opinions. Some felt it was a metaphor for the recent bailout or her way of pushing her liberal views onto others…

Turns out it was from an experience she had with her older brother when she was younger and he gave money to a homeless man selling roses, paying 10 times the asked amount. The post of the story was today and the comments were profoundly different: no more questions of a hidden agenda and complete approval. Most were from people who felt they should give more. So this got me thinking about charitable actions and one’s agenda behind them.

I am sure we would all like to think that we give often and unconditionally. Unfortunately I think there is always something more there. I know that many give because it makes them feel good inside and sometimes make up for other slip ups they might have in the future. I know that some give to get the recognition and approval of others (politicians anyone???). Still others give because they feel they are required to or don’t know any different. Does this make it bad?

My opinion is that it is not a bad thing to give to anyone or any cause. We all trust that it will do some good and be used it the right way. We all have to believe this because if we didn’t then we wouldn’t be charitable… and that would be a terrible thing.

I try to give when I can and would like to think that I do so unconditionally but I know this is not true. I do many things to gain the acceptance of others and be seen favorably in their eyes. This does not mean that I don’t like to give and help others, in fact I enjoy it immensely, it’s just that sometimes I feel like it makes me a bad person that I sometimes give to get something out of it. What are your thoughts?


"No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave"

An Interesting Place in My Career

So I find myself wondering what to do with myself.  I have climbed every mountain in my professional life and now find myself on a vast plateau searching for something else to climb...  I have spoken with a few friends about where I am in my life and where to go but still have no answer.  Sure there have bee good suggestions, but none that have grabbed hold...

My whole life things have been laid out in front of me like a well groomed path.  School just kept progressing and I added more activities on the rare occasion that I felt I had some free time.  I then got the good job in a great location and was gaining more responsibility at a fast pace, but then the house market changed and the job vanished.  So I had to make a move...

I am now up in the Bay Area working for a great company full of amazing people.  The problem is the tasks I am doing.  Though important, there is little challenge and I only seem to be working hard because of the quantity of work and not its complexity.  Last week I did not leave work before 7pm a single night and yet what did I learn.  Just that in this line of work there is incessant documentation to avoid legal issues and the fun parts are few and far between.

Now don't feel bad for me because I still like my job and love the feeling of completion when projects are complete.  That is what drew me to this career.  It just hard when you know you can contribute more but still have to go through the motions and climb the bottom of the ladder.

I guess I need to look at filling my life with things outside of work... Any suggestions?

"The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more."

Job Update

Just thought you all would like to see some progress pictures of my job. There is a lot more done and we will have all the walls up this week and the roof should be up by the end of the month. Enjoy...

Remodel Fun

So, it has been awhile since my last post so I figured I would fill you in on what has been going on.

In the work world things have sped up considerably and life is busy.  We tilted enough wall panels to surround about 2/3 of the building and have started putting up "shade" (roof structure).  We just released a bunch of our TI (Tenant Improvement) subcontractors so now I am contract and submittal mode all over again.  And now I am working on sorting out all of our  Change Orders to make sure everything is getting paid for. So all of that is long days and lots of fun.

Outside of work I have been working on remodeling my friends bathroom, as most of you know.  This remodel has turned into the Murphy's Law of remodeling.  If something could go wrong it has and not in an easy to fix sort of way.  Today we had to essentially remove a wall to get the Tub/Sower surround into the bathroom.  But the good news is that it is installed so now most of the hard stuff is complete and we can start dry-walling and finishing.  But it has come at the cost of long days and rough work.  I can't wait till its done and I know it will look great when I am finished.  My friend M has already committed to visiting and showering in it.

The only other current happening in my life is I am planning to purchase a truck this weekend.  But I am having second thoughts and chances are by tomorrow I will have made the responsible decision to pay off debt instead of making more... but that is a whole other post that may soon follow.

So in the coming weeks I have a busy work schedule, my sister's wedding the second weekend in Sept and next weekend I get to see my good friend R who just got back from Iraq and got engaged.  It should be a good month.

“The shortest distance between two points is under construction.”

Great Friends and Family!

I just wanted to take this chance to say thank you to all those that have made a difference in my life. Without you guys I would be a far less fortunate man.

The last couple days, for my birthday, I have been flooded with love from those who mean the most to me. I am a truly lucky guy.

So thanks to my friends for all the birthday wishes and thanks to my family for the gifts and time together. I look forward to seeing you all in the near future. :)

"You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime."

Strong Rancid Rubber Smell

OK so here is a new one...

At 2am this morning I was awoken by Scooter, one of the dogs I am dogsitting. He woke me up by nudging my right hand with his nose. A nose covered in foamy slobber that got all over my hand and the side of the bed. When I woke up I immediately smelled a very strong rubber/chemical smell that seemed a little rotten. I could not figure out what it was or where it was coming from, as it was so overwhelming, and I finally realized it was coming from Scooter himself. On top of this Scooter seemed to be choking or gagging... So needless to say I was a little frightened about what might be wrong with him.

I got up and grabbed a washcloth and cleaned all the foamy slobber off of Scooter's mouth and grabbed my computer to look up what might cause a foamy slobber on a dogs mouth that smells like burning rubber. And there it was... "How to remove the smell when a dog gets sprayed by a skunk."

There it was. The dog had sprayed by a skunk and then spread it all over me and the edge of the bed because he woke me up in fear. I had then proceeded to spread this terrible skunk smell onto a washcloth, my computer bag and my computer. Not to mention that Scooter probably got it in a lot more places because believe me, that slobber was dripping everywhere...

I had to be up at 3am to get to work so after figuring all this out it was time to get up and get going. So I put Scooter outside and got as much cleaned up as possible but no all I can smell is skunk and I have the joy of getting Scooter cleaned up when I get home. To make things worse: everything I have read (since getting to work) says to get the smell out right away cause if you wait then it gets harder to remove... So I have that going for me :(

"What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself." - Abraham Lincoln

The Organization of Chaos

So from my last post you all know that I am working on remodeling my friends bathroom. What I didn't mention was that I am going to be moving in and that is going to be my bathroom. This blog isn't only about this remodel but it is part of it.

Due to the fact that I am moving into my friend's house I have to be out of my apartment by Sunday, August 10th. This shouldn't be a problem because I don't have a ton of stuff and I have all weekend to move... or so I thought. I received a call from my Grandma who told me that my Dad is going to be in the Fresno area this weekend and because it is the weekend before my birthday she thought I should come down and celebrate. I only get to see my Dad a couple times a year so this seems like a great idea, only I still have to move. I then got a call from a close friend who is passing through town this weekend and would like to have lunch on Saturday. All do-able.

So basically I need to get moved out of my apartment before Friday so I can go down to Fresno and see my family on Saturday but not until after I have lunch with my good friend. Oh, but there is more...

My sister is getting married next month and I am happy to say I am being included as a groomsman. The problem is I need to be fitted for a tux and my sister has not sent me the card for me to send back with my measurements. So when would be a good time to be fitted? How about this Saturday when I am down in Fresno with the family. Great idea... add it to the list.

Here where it gets more complicated. My friends that I am moving in with are on a well deserved vacation in Hawaii and I am dogsitting for them. This means that I am all on my own trying to move all my stuff from my apartment to the house while dogsitting, all so I can get down to Fresno to see my family and celebrate my birthday. But as I have mentioned, this is all possible.

Another complication... I still need to remodel so I have a bathroom when I move into the new house... I guess you can't always juggle everything. So bathroom you will have to wait...

I hope you enjoyed my fun little story and I will let you know how it all turns out...

"Chaos in the world brings uneasiness,

but it also allows the opportunity for creativity and growth."